“we accept the love we think we deserve.”
And tonight, my heart, mind and soul is so CHAOTIC
And sometimes i run away from the reality, creating my own stories in my though, pretending that everything still the same like it used to and i'll be the happiest person in the world (again) but the i realize its only my delusion
Life is rude to me, life is so hard to me, really? i can't even answer my own question,
Have you ever feel be in the end of a cliff? and all you want do is jump, falling down, but you're afraid too..
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you
so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
People are blaming at you, mad at you, smirking at you, thinking about your bad attitude, people are feel sorry about your life, not real sorry, but just more intimidating me, they make you as a joke or never realize that you're "EXIST"
"And save me, save me save me..."
Save me from my own mind, save me from this life, take me away and wake me up, i'm crashing inside, i can't even thinking who am i, i can't even know who am i, this time...
I learned psychology but i knew that sometimes i can be so concerned of my self, and i don't know which state am i? but when i'm back into normal i can be so tough to get through this, but tonight, its not me..
Sometimes i doubt my self, and i need my prince to come to me, and wake me up with his love, and bring me into his life, then again, i can be the happiest person in the world,
And can i believe in love once again, after all this time? i miss those moment, but i do afraid of being rejected or being live at the same time, it fools me, make me look so stupid, and destroy me,
Yes!! i miss you and miss us, Yes!! i made our fantasy together as one, and pretending that you're here, but then i realize again, i'm doing this stupid things, and its not stop, god what am i doing, i can't barely stand on my feet, and, my life isn't bright like it used to,
I always pretend that its okay, that i'm fine, but when i'm back in my room, like i said to you guys,
"I MESSED UP"
Enough for tonight, i guess its just a part of me being weird!!
Good night sweet readers,
Love
Zara