And my tears were overflow "again" this saturday noon..
how long i've been in a deep disappointment? How long i've tried to survive? five months? oh..! actually its seven.. sucks huh?!
Well, no one actually understand how you feel, even when your talking with your bff, and shared things with them and trying to reduce your anxiety and broken hearted, but the fact is when they're going home and you start to sit alone in your room, listening to your ipod, played some sad songs, here you go again.. cried..cried...cried.. until you got bored and then do some of your crap again, like checking path, twitter, read your love zodiac and some quotation, checking instagram, posting some quotes or sad photos, and then watching movies (then you realized its all boring), looking for super cars photography, singing and record your voice or back again... "listening to your ipod" and its all about the sad song.. and you're doing a "survival" stage 1 (didn't even move)... pfffffff * congratulation, you got your whole activities..!!
Damn Man, i hate the feeling of my "wake-up-in-the-morning" part, suddenly you got this shit, and you just lying on the bed, thinking about "i don't wanna wake up" "something in my life has missing" "Am i dreaming?" and you realize you have nothing beside you and you just say "I love my gadgets" while every one's busy with their perfect life.. i know.. i know.. nobody has a perfect life, but i mean they're complete with those blue blossoms feeling, butterflies in their stomach, did you get it ?
hope for now it isn't disturbing my mid term, because am on it now, and i wish for a good grade this time, so i can bring my car over here, well its a little bit hard and confusing you know, while he bring his car, and am like "Can you help me find a taxi?" haha, it means nothing for me but still so funny when i remembered about this stuff, oh yeah ! another things you can do is hangout with my bff easily without thinking what should we ride, or the taxi's fee.. am i right ? :p
My another news is i took a short course in china this December on 17-30, with my three psychology friends, we are going to Fujian University, its winter in there, and well.. am excited, of course am excited, but its just i don't know, my feelings, condition and the weather (what?!) okay..okay..okay.. i hope we are just fine in there, and having a lot of experience, am just excited but just half of it, you know the feeling, huh ?
And.. this is saturday night ummm... i spend my time with "NOBODY" haha, am so sensitive of that, i know its over, but thats what the main topic, used to spent my time with "mmmm" but now i'm in my room doing random stuff and still being drama queen.. but the truth is "am so broken" am 19 y.o but its just, i find it hard about being mature, being okay, being happy.. its just hard guys..
Well, catch ya later again folks, ~
Adios - Ciao
love ya - xoxo -