— Douglas Adams (The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (Dirk Gently, #2))
Hello my sweet stalker and my loyalty readers, :*
Hari ini spesial bahasa indonesia, gue lagi mencoba untuk lebih menghayati mengenai disorder gue a.k.a penyakit gue (its not literally penyakit penyakit) tapi lebih ke keadaan sekarang, i felt like i had some "paranoid' Disorder, haha..
Dan bener bener ngerasain itu semua, mulai dari pas gue kena some "particular" problems sampe pas dapet secara gratis test "Beck Depression Inventory" test, dan gue fix bener bener depress and paranoid skrng,,
Well, i just wanna said that
"Anxiety is a Dizziness of Freedom"
Ga tau bener ato engga, apa harus dikaitkan sama ini atau engga, tapi yang pasti sometimes yah, itu emang bring us to the world of "freedom" i mean like.
gue aja anxiety nya kadang kelewatan haha, tapi lebih ke paranoid sih, ya sama aja, abis dari paranoid tetep larinya ke anxiety, cm ya itu tadi, kalo misalnya gue mikirnya anxiety gue itu harus di pentingin, bukan hal yang abal-abal ato ga jelas gitu, pasti ujung ujungnya gue bebas,
emang susah sih mau dijabarin oanjang lebar disini atau di jelasin kalau gada bukti yang bener kuat yang bisa bikin kalian percaya, well you guys should try this at home :p
"Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.
First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind's way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.
Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying 'time heals all wounds' is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.
Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.
Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told."
— Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicle, #1))
First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind's way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.
Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying 'time heals all wounds' is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.
Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.
Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told."
— Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicle, #1))
Sometimes gue takut ama diri gue sendiri, yang bisa ber personality ganda, haha bingung kan?
yah maksudnya, kayak sometimes gue kalo bisa aja malu ama diri sendiri, benci ama diri sendiri, atau engga kayak takut hidup di dunia ini, tapi gue sadar lagi, kayak mikir lagi, refresh lagi bahwa this is life, you can feel about what you want to feel, kalo misalnya emang gue lagi berpikiran begitu, gue iya iyain aja malah sedih aja sekalian, meratapi nasib, tapi ntar gue sembuh lagi, and that's what i mean by
"I'am afraid of my self"
Tapi apapun yang terjadi di luar sana, baik pada diri lo sendiri atau pada orang lain, jangan pernah takut untuk jadi beda dalam hal buat diri lo sendiri, jangan merasa lo cuma sendirian di dunia ini, karena masih ada gue ataupun temen temen lo yang bakalan siap ngebantu lo apa adanya..
Kalo emang lo belum ketemu ama yang pas, mungkin emang belom waktunya, tapi itu bukan berarti bahwa lo sendiri, masih ada gue yang bakalan jadi "future psychologist" nya lo nanti (pede gue) hahaa.. amin amin amin... sometimes gue juga begitu kok, dan lo gak perlu malu,
people judges you know, but that's life, kalo peolple ga judges this isn't called life then, hehehe..
Enjoy for this day, sweet stalker and readers
love you
Adios - ZARA