I can't believe that this is happening right now, i mean next semester i have a lot of plans to do, and i have to stay focus, stay in my line. Find a place for my internship thingy, which is gonna be hard, but i guess full of adventure, after internship i've to make a summary of my internship and doing an assembly of my internship, then the finale session i will do my essay :"( i can't thinking right now. I don't even touch my essay tittle. shit. it is knocking me down. lets do this one by one, ok!!!
So yesterday dad's coming and we will hanging out tomorrow and i told him that "i'm so afraid for internship" i mean like its a real world dude, and its gonna be tough, i've heard many things from my friends, i mean its work life. hell yeah, i don't know if i can do that, if i can face that, but i believe i will, no matter how hard its gonna be, but i will face it. C'mon, sometimes i think about this, my life and i'm so excited but also i'm afraid, i have to finish my english course, and finish my college thingy, find a job, making money, then die. First i've to deal with my own problems, and then focus at my future, change my path maybe, this is serious problem, wish me luck guys. a lot of luck. i need a miracle hahaha.
And sometimes i do think about how i will survive when i have nobody, seriously its distracting me right now, its a psychological problem, i know that everybody got their own problem, but at least they have someone to lean on when they're afraid, or when they're happy. me? nah don't ask.
I know it sounds stupid right? hey its just me and this is my personal blog either, so i'll write what i will write right? :p :p :p. One thing i know, pain makes you don't wanna believe in everything like ever..... i mean ever.. is that weird? but this is what i feel, i'll try to live with that, already get used to it. is it hard? yes it is very hard, like really hard, but i don't die, i just don't believe in everything right now.
Oh yeah, last month i did this interview for AIESEC, its from my university, its like a program or project with another world, you can discover the universe, if you already joining with AIESEC, and make a project with another country, you'll get a bonus you can work at whenever country you want, oh my oh my, and i'm just like 'oh please, get me in, get me in, get me in, haha, but its a hard work you know, unfortunately i've to wait until next summer, cause i ask for summer project' just wish me luck, one of my top dreams when i can live in Spain, Italy, london or maybe France lets say everybody wants that, but it is awesome when we can work there, and live happily ever after. just like a fairy tale. I believe that someday i'll get my own fairy tale.... am i? i don't know. i will.. yep i will..
Such a dream, bizarre, an odd part of me. But hey its okay right? its ok to be nerdy, sweet nerdy. This is my last stop see you on my next post.
with love - Azhalea the sweet nerdy