Even after what happen, it feels like nothing.
Every time i see you, all i know its just hurt, feeling hopeless, anxious, anxiety, depression.
Whats wrong with me? i'm the girl who suffer from all of this, i'm the girl who you hurt, the girl who still love you after what you did to me, i can't made up my own mind, i'm trying to be ok in front of you, you know that feeling? of course! you don't know what it feels like, that feeling when you know that its enough, enough for all of the broken hearted, but when i see you i'm also the girl who also broke those million promises. and see? what are you doing? Nothing dude!
Last time, i was crying like a baby, when i can't see you, yes my heart craving your love, and yes i miss you until my heart hurts and after all of that you just came and then go again, while i'm too exhausted to let you go and wasting my tears, i choose not to see you, yes! its hard to decide, but i'm too tired to think, then here i'm drowning in my own thought. Yes i'm screaming for you not to leaving me, i don't even know what the heck are you doing to me, you hypnotized me dude, until i can't let it go.
But then i made those stupid statement, confession of heart that i will let you go, i will set my heart free, i don't even know who lock me or i'm the one who don't wanna come out from your cage, because i'm not ready for every risk that i'll face.
I don't know whose fault is this? is it me? is it you? or both? people will say both i guess.
I do tired, but dude, this is too hard for me, i don't know is it me whose making all of this hard, or this is a really hard situation.
I'm not ready for this, i wish i know all of god's trial, but unfortunately i'm only human who always make mistake, and still wanna find happiness but also fragile, trying to be strong, but i'm not the chosen one. This is too confusing, i can't see who am i anymore, i wanna scream out loud but, i know it won't make my problem gone.
Damn, i lived in a tough world.
I just need god to help me, to hug me tight, real tight, and say that He's there, He's still there saying that i'm strong, even i know i can't, these tears will speaks through him.
:"(
