Completely lost.
Here i am again, useless, feeling like a completely idiot who trying to help herself in the middle of a dilemma crisis and struggling.
How could i trying to feeling fine living under the same roof, while everything is break down?
Why should i keep forgiving the same mistakes, while all i got is this epinephrine hormone all over my brain and body, and trying to reduce my negative feelings and put it into my unconscious state of mind with "have to breathing but hard to breath condition".
Back into my daydreaming day, while i was lying down on my bed after heard a bad news at this partly cloudy weather of course with these puffy eyes ((oh wait! not even puffy, puffy and still crying, make senses (?)).
I found my self again feeling confused for what have been done, or for what does my brain should say or should do after my prolonged not yet-finish sadness.
Back and forth trying to figure it out, with my "analyse everything", took a zip-moment outside like every second, afraid of a pouring rain that might come while those freakin' creepy monster are doing a lovey-dovey moment in the same shed.
"Then, there's another kind of love, the cruelest one. The one that almost kills its victim, it's called UNREQUITED LOVE."
Of that i'm an expert, most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us?
What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love alone?
We are the victims of one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones.
We are the unloved loves. The walking wounded
The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space
"And yes, you're looking at one such individual, and i have willingly loved that completely basta*d for over three miserable years. The absolute worst years of my life. The worst Christmas's, the worst Birthday's, New Year Eve's brought in by tears and valium."
"These years that i've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. And it doesn't matter how many haircuts you get and gyms you join or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your friends."
"I still go to bed every night doing over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how could both of you have misunderstood. And how the hell in that brief of moment you could think that you were that happy (?)"
"And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door.
And after all that, however long all that may be, you'l go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again."
And a little pieces of your soul will finally comeback, and all that fuzzy stuff those years of life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
so what are we exactly?
