I was thinking about YOU
A simple and a very strong word and it could means anything and everything....
Suddenly i feel something popped up in my head
Something that said
"Could be so much worse, when i think about you?"
in between my exhausted body after the gym and getting ready for the exam tomorrow noon.
And for the record "I've been dying to figure everything out about you"
Suddenly i realized that i feel empty, empty without you of course,
When i looked my instagram photos and trying to delete some of it.
My eyes stopped at this one shoot, that reminds me of you
Reminds me of that night, when i tried to escape from my safest place on the earth
Running away, so i shouldn't see both of you, and at the same time
I was trying to clear my mind or at least i'm trying to get rid of you from my brain.
I remember what it feels like, when i put every effort that i have to convince my self that i should leave you
Well, i did the hard work of course, for the first few days...
Not seeing or hearing anything about you, her.
But i failed at during my last week due to your confusing and unbelievable "Sudden move" called adding my bbm account "What a great great great move". To be honest i was mesmerized by your action back then
Do you even know or do you even realized that "It was stupid statements ever"
And you have no idea, how hard i'm struggling and suffering from you
But everything has changed since that day, the day when you suddenly want me to come back with you
I was mad, confused but i'm happy actually, so all of the negative feelings are gone away
till i don't know what to do and i decided to run away back to my safest place again, so i can see you.
At least that was all i can remembered.
When i slept with you that night.
I started to felt the butterflies in my stomach
Even tho i still think about "Is this real?" or "Am i freaking dreaming? what time is it?"
I looked and sounded so stupid back then...
After that, the miracle accident we went smooth, so smooth
Until i made mistake,
The funny thing is you are so damn good to make me look so guilty ( like hell!) even tho i know that it was my fault
But you were so damn good as an actor.
Wait! i didn't write this as my complain or whining about you
It's just me missing you...
And f.y.i
I did jealous when she got the chance to hang out with your parents while i be the one who stuck up in my room
Whining like a baby, couldn't stop crying for five freaking days, when she was here...
HEART CONSTELLATION
This fragile little girl is MISSING YOU
And i couldn't handle my own pain, well! i thought i could handle it.
But just like the first day when we got into problem
I can't help it, i can't stand it....
What's the good thing about hold on into your state of mind?
Or fight for you?
What so serious about us?
people asked me the same question all the time
"What do you see from a man like that?"
And i still give them the same reason
"Everything that you guys never see in him"
When i'm alone, every single nights, i always think about repressing my feelings into my unconscious level
And i know that it wasn't a good way to clear things up, because just like Sigmund freud said
"You cannot repress anything, especially about how you feel or what you feel"
This is actually the reason,
why every single nights i try to let all the negative feelings go by crying
Crying did help you.
But something is still missing,
the part when i miss our good memory and the part about
"You always have me and neither do you"
I remembered when you smile at me, teasing me, touching me.
And i always remembered when you love me.
And just like every human being basic need
I need someone that comfort me, fit me, also suits me well
And i know this is sound stupid again, but i still give you or them or myself the same answer
"It still you, and always love you"
