Been 3 weeks since that day, nothing happened until NOW..
anything just going like normally.. NOT normally !! exactly i've gone crazy and going like the hell, i mean i didn't know what should i do, my BRAIN was thinking about you, just YOU !!
I always asking to my friends and obviously praying to GOD but nothing happened. i'm tired you know, tired for complaining my self, tired of being blaming by another people like "I'm the one who makes this CIRCUMSTANCES" hey !! i'm not the only one who make this shit..
But i can't blame him either, Mom and Dad came two days ago, and actually, she ask me about what's going on, just because i told Dad that i've a problem and i can't solve it, and tradaaa..
mom gave me the same answer just like the other, Big Thanks to God, mom giving a surprise for me and helping me like, hey two days before they came, i'm crying just like another stressed people and missing my mom..
But when mom come to my home stay, yep ! i'm crying too. An answer is really hard to find when i always blaming my self, but sometimes i'm thinking normally (Thank God) that i can fix this problem, you know Nikky, i can just hated people like that, i know that maybe you still miss you ex and still hoping to her, but why you did this to me? i mean i'm falling apart you know, you didn't know how hard i'm trying to build my walls besides me and how hard i'm trying to forget you, and how hard i'm trying to let you go..
But the answer is "I CAN'T" once you in my heart, you came just like a dream then you threw me away like i'm nothing, i can't forget you, did you know i'm tired ??
you can ask this silly question to other girls, i bet their answer is the same like me.
God, would you help me please? please oslve this problem and help me to find the answer, but don't take him from me please, don't take him
and yeah, his mom was came yesterday and what a surprised to knowing that my mom was came too..
this is awkward, but yeah what is that, just still believe a miracle would happened even it's 1%
and you know, some people just ignoring me like, "Hey, you can't get him" i mean, why they always thinking about that STUFF, while they never thinking how hurt i will be ??
do they even thinking about "DO YOUR own BUSINESS" it's true that maybe you can give an advice or bla bla bla, and you can give your opinion, bet you will say that "Fuck" with all the stuff you said, but you didn't UNDERSTAND what happened in YOUR life...
I mean GOD forgive me because i'm too expecting to something that i can't reach and get, but help me GOD, help me to find my identity and help me to BREAK the ice and let me still think that
"THIS LIFE isn't full FUCK"
Bless him always, bless him with all the happiness and bless him everything his take and get..
and bless him with his family and the people who hated him and love him..
Amen...
