January 13, 2013

Still... in the same topic. I mean "The Losing of my self" ...

Maybe....maybe....just maybe i did this because of my problem.. ahhh! see??
maybe because i was too stupid? nope- still stupid for loving, missing someone, need, caring someone. But i'm tired too. believe me, i do..

And how come you live in the world "Everything is fine" when your heart know "Its Not"?
The different things when you guys aren't together anymore, when he's going somewhere, and you can't ask him, and you do "A ninja style - like Stalking from your window" you don't know where did he go, with whom, how long he's been gone? 
and see? you start to waiting until he's back, then you feel safe, without knowing that maybe, just  maybe he's going to have fun with some whore..
But the bad thing is he can come to you, finding you,teasing you, and for the next minute, he's disappear, and pretending to be a stranger, and the question is "How come you can be a silly little girl?" 

You put a lot of trust to him, but some part of me said he's kind off asshole, he's bullshit every where, and i wanna stab him in his head, no... In his heart.. But some part of me said that "Love him, just be patient, and it'll be worth it"  
Oh yeah by the way, he's home now. I don't have any idea where did he go, i mean i'm tired to do this, do stuff like this, please please please... Just take me away from here God, i'm so tired to see everything, and everything's blue...
I can't do this anymore, i can't... i wanna scream out loud, but i can't... how? how? and how? i'm falling into pieces, how can i love such a guy like him? how? how?

Why i never get my happy ending? why? why? why? why i have to see people happiness, why i have to pretend that i'm happy? while i'm not...
Why god want me to do this? 

since i can't post any picture, i do it later or wait for my mood..

-Silent-