Love is a battlefield
At least that was based on what i see and feel...
People barely couldn't get out if they're find their self feeling the "can't-live-without-each-other-love"
Each person have the idea of love, their own problems with love and how they'll find the answer
That will lead us to a conclusion about our love life problems, not even that.
But leading us to the revealing of our identity as humanity.
Our self esteem, also leading us to the experiences of life stuff...
So when i was trying not to think about my "can't live without each other love, but it seems like it was only me who figure it out, but i don't know about him either" i decided to stayed at Claire's room. She's an actress living with her mom, they've been nice with me so far.
I took this opportunity pouring out my "prolonged sadness moment" with them, in case maybe they'll give another idea from their perspective. And i wanna save my self from my own tears and "drowning in my thought" time. And yep! It was kinda work tho!
Me and Claire were playing this traditional game, she just bought it, and we thought that maybe this could reducing my epinephrine hormone.
Actually this game kinda use your brain a lot, its like a temporary distraction,
At least your brain still can do the math. So yes! we laughed a lot at that moment.
But at night when we were about to sleep, suddenly here comes my state of mind where i should go out and check on him, following my heart i went outside and..
"Holy, crap! its raining" there's something about rain that makes you wanna cry, well! it depends on how's your feeling.
But he wasn't there so i got panicked.
Not until a sec, under my purple umbrella i saw Nora, sitting in the corner of our car park crying hysterically.
I checked on her, i don't even know what is going on with her. Because the last thing i know she went outside with Fae my another best girl and wanna make clear about her relationship with this guy. Another broken lady. I can't even say anything seeing my best friend just sit there cried endlessly except thinking about i know how she feels about it.
Three of us just stand there, under the rain in the middle of the night, hugging Nora and we got this anxious feeling. We were just clicked. So three of us crying.
Not because by the Love, but its our feeling, our expression..
Late night, i choose to ignore about how worried am i, that he's not here, in fact he went outside again, dinner with his friends, i just wanna focus with Nora
We were sitting on Nora's bed, still with our puffy eyes, and she was in shocked and pain. Her head feel so heavy,
So i asked her to sleep with me, tried to settle her down, and at least she has company
She's agree with that, unfortunately Fae can't stay with us, she already married and can't leave her husband. She stayed with us till Nora felt asleep then she went home.
I saw her while she was asleep, i thought this is a rough night, seeing a man broke a woman's heart like that. It was unbelievable and actually it was so mean.
Consciously i was still worried about Mr.Unpredictable but deep down in my heart i know this is torturing me.
I choose to sleep and forget this things for awhile.
The next day, i thought it was a dream.
I thought this could only be my nightmare, or her nightmare,
Well it's not! i have to live my life like this..
Nora's still sleeping, Fae's knocking the door not so long after i brushed my teeth and washed my face. We just wanna forget today, and i hope this will be as easy as we flip our hand
The situation still pretty intense after that night. But we tried to make it better by laughing,
Yeah! the power of laughing its a strong substance addictive when you're broken hearted, even when you still feel alone when you're friends leave, or maybe you got this hurt feeling when you come back to your room, you can't deny it, it still there, even when you wanna forget about it, but its there, and it'll be there, until we're ready to let go.
Its not the good bye that hurts but the flash back that follow,
Good byes are not forever, Good byes are nor the end, they simply means I'll miss you until we meet again.
Saying good bye hurts, but knowing it is good bye kills
We started with a simple hello, but end up with a complicated good bye.
Loves
- A
